As soon as I got out of the fog of early motherhood, something struck me with such clarity that the thought itself instigated almost instant change.

Your children reflect back who you are.

They are mirrors of your own upbringing, your beliefs, the past you allow to dictate your present. How they behave is who you are. As a parent, you are mountainous to them. As your children, they are the earth to you. You can replant, sow new seeds, water them daily. You can build a whole new garden. In fact, if you do not want to pass on habits that have hindered you in life, you have no choice. You have to do it.

A good friend reminded me of this last night over dinner. She said: ‘Your children are only ever going to love themselves as much as you do. Your children are only ever going to forgive themselves as you can do. Your children are only ever going to be as kind to themselves as you are.’

They are powerful words, simple and true.

So what is it like inside your mind? If it’s full of weeds, if that garden is so wild and so neglected that you don’t even know where to start – if you can’t get digging for yourself, start doing it for your children.

They deserve it. And so do you.